Man Milk

From Uwphitau

Definition

1) Any milk that has a fat content of 2% or greater. 1% or lesser concentrations are known as bastard milk and pussy milk, or bastard and metro milk when in the presence of females.

2) Milk chosen for its flavor rather than its caloric, protein, or fat content.

Orgin

There once was great debate about which milk should be considered "man" milk because it was noted that 1% and fat free milks have a higher concentration of protein per serving than do 2% and whole milks.

However, after a long and arduous debate the involved parties came to some realizations:

1) Fat provides 9 kcal/gram vs. only 4 kcal/gram provided by protein.
2) Real men need energy in order to be able to lift weights, play sports and do other manly things.
3) Extra protein in the diet gets converted to fat.
4) If the body does not have a suitable fuel it will turn on its own protein stores (muscles) and begin breaking them down.
5) Losing muscle is anything but manly.

The 1% Debate

As was proven on the eleventh day of the sixth month of the two thousand and eighth year of our lord, the mixture of 2% and non-fat milks, in equal parts, does not make up 1% milk, but in fact creates a colloid combination with a fat content closer to 1.34%.

This discovery was made by calling a milk expert in Hawaii, an employee of Mountain View Dairy Inc. Further inquiries should be made to Mountain View Dairy Inc. by calling them at (808) 696-3047 or visiting them at their location during normal business hours at 21°27'3.96"N, 158°10'46.57"W. Ask for Bruce.